Some cool definitions

Sometimes it feels good to read such definitions when you are struck out somewhere with some problem!

 

Atom Bomb: An invention made to end all inventions.

 

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

 

Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.

 

Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.

 

College: A place where some pursue learning and others learn pursuing.

 

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

 

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

 

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

 

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

 

Criminal: A guy no different from the rest… except that he has got caught.

 

Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage.

 

Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

 

Divorce: Future tense of marriage.

 

Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

 

Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

 

Etc: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

 

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

 

Father: A banker provided by nature.

 

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through “the minds of either”.

 

Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.

 

Marriage: It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor’s degree and a woman gains her master’s.

 

Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

 

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

 

Opportunists: One who starts having a bath when he/she accidentally falls in a river.

 

Optimist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

 

Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO,instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

 

Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

 

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

 

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

 

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power.

 

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

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