Sometimes it feels good to read such definitions when you are struck out somewhere with some problem!
Atom Bomb: An invention made to end all inventions.
Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.
Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.
College: A place where some pursue learning and others learn pursuing.
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Criminal: A guy no different from the rest… except that he has got caught.
Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage.
Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
Divorce: Future tense of marriage.
Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
Etc: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
Father: A banker provided by nature.
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through “the minds of either”.
Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.
Marriage: It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor’s degree and a woman gains her master’s.
Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Opportunists: One who starts having a bath when he/she accidentally falls in a river.
Optimist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO,instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power.
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.