Few Forwards about Girls and Chennai

I request you to take these in light humorous sense otherwise if you are a hot-blooded Indian (no matter which region you belong to), don’t read ahead.

 

What it means to have a TAMIL GIRL friend –

 

  • Her mother looks down at you because you didn’t study in IIT or Madras /Anna University.
  • Her father starts every conversation with ” I say…”
  • She shudders if you use four letter words.
  • She shudders when you eat eggs.
  • She has long hair, neatly oiled and braided.
  • She uses the word ‘Super’ as her only superlative.
  • Her name is another name for a Goddess or a flower.
  • Her first name is longer than your first name, middle name and surname combined.
  • When she mixes milk and rice you are never sure whether it is for the Dog or for herself. (That is baaad!)
  • For weddings, she sports a mini jasmine garden on her head and wears silk saris in the Madras heat without looking too uncomfortable while you are melting in your singlet.
  • She thinks Arvind Swami is the sexiest man alive.
  • Her favorite cricketer is Kris Srikanth.
  • Her favorite food is dosa though she has tried North Indian snack like Chat (pronounced like the slang for ‘conversation’)
  • She bursts into songs with her cousins in every movie.
  • She bores you by telling you which raaga each song you hear is based on.
  • You have to give her jewels, though she has already got plenty of it.
  • She is more educated than you.
  • Her father thinks she is much smarter than you.
  • And he is probably right.

Note: Sorry Tamil friends

 

What it means to have a TELGU GIRL friend

 

  • Her mother looks down at you because you didn’t study Engineering or for not having a fake certificate which others can easily identify…
  • Her father starts every conversation with Dowry??… Is he a Brinjal vendor..?
  • She shudders if you use FIVE (DOWRY) letter words.
  • She hates you when you don’t eat GONGURA…and all pickles her mom has given from a 3 yrs back India trip…
  • She has a capability of turning anything into a pickle…even paper… Andhra style… 🙂 Your fate to eat it…
  • She has long hair, neatly oiled and braided not to make, feel her husband admire…but to offer to Tirupathi god.
  • She uses the word ‘Bagundhi’ as a standard adjective for anything even to praise you… so no value.
  • She breaks her first name and keeps a nick name; her last name is usually being horrible to pronounce…everyone confuses which one to use.
  • When she mixes milk and rice you don’t realize that it would also be like a fire hot…so spicy…Unless you taste it and go to hospital she might have used white chillis. (That is chaala baaad!).
  • For weddings, she doesn’t sport a mini jasmine garden on her head because she knows well that her hair is going to TIRUPATHI so why jasmine flowers wastely? Correct na…?? and wears basic cotton sari in the
  • Guntur and save something to her dad because of dowry expenses.
  • She thinks Chiranjeevi and Venkatesh are the sexiest men alive. Otherwise, she knows only about Tamil heroes and movies because approx…200% Tamil movies are dubbed or remade in Telugu right?
  • Her favorite cricketer is Tendulkar…because there is no one from Guntur.
  • She bores you by telling you how to save $… while sleeping…too… trying to save snore? Lol.
  • You have to give her American life, Lexus, Acura MDX, Blackberry & always update with…Luxury stuff…so that she will balance the jewels and houses her father gave you..
  • But she rarely likes to buy those cars…and owns an obsolete Corolla…for her entire US life…
  • She is rarely educated…knows how to be a best kanjoo in the world…
  • Her father thinks she is much smarter than You( my telugu friend)…and he is correct… 🙂

 

Note: Sorry Telugu friends

 

One hilarious forward that I received from Aditya.

 

Chennai Update from a North Indian

 

For those who don’t know about Chennai, it is capital (previously known as Madras) of Tamilnadu state of India.

 

The mail seems to be sent by a North Indian guy who is working at Infosys, Chennai (as he mentions Infy in summary as well as its DC locations at Banglore, Mohali, Hyderabad).

 

I liked the way place has been described by a person not liking it at all.

 

 

Hi friends,

This is a live update from chennai.

Language – Tamil, tamil and tamil. Even if they know hindi, they don’t speak up.                 

People – We never heard anyone laughing here (I wonder if they ever laugh or shout)
             So conservative, that noone talks even in the bus

Food – Idly, sambhar, rice, dosa, vada, pongal
          We have to cook our food ourselves (unbelievable naa).

Weather – summer from october to feb and rest of the year it’s deadly summer.

Lesiure – Dormitery, dirty sea beaches on weekends

Rent – 6.5 K / 1 BHK

Advance – 6 months

Aata – Rs. 26 /kg

Apple – Rs. 100 /kg

Orange – Rs. 10/piece

Banana – Rs 3 /piece

Mausmi Juice – Rs. 18 /glass

Jeans Dryclean – Rs.40

Phulka – Rs. 15

 

 

Interesting facts and incidents :

1. Here you cannot buy a needle after 6 PM (strange).

2. We asked an auto driver, “hindi aati hai”?. He replied in hindi “Hindi nahi aati”.

3. The most common suffix here is ‘a’, e.g.
   straight – straighta
   2 cup tea – 2 cupa tea

4. Even dogs eat curd rice.

5. In north, names are like Gori Shankar, gauri prasad etc. Here the names are like Kaliraj, kalicharan etc.

6. When there is a ‘t’ in any name, they add ‘h’ to it.
   jayant – jayanth
   bharat – bharath

 

8. Here is a culture of adding mystical alphabets after ones’s name, like Mahesh R, Sandeep T etc.

9. Cable connection is of no use here as only tamil channels are broadcasted on cable TV, if anyone wanna watch hindi channels then you need to  buy  a  set up box (Rs.4000).

10. Infy office is actually not in chennai, it comes under a district called Chengalpet which is 45 kms from main city.

11. Once we saw a girl in the food court, she was looking and acting like a north indian. My friend became exited and planned to talk to her, but just then we noticed her breakfast and then “dil ke armaan aansuon mein beh gaye”, she was having pongal. (disguise!!)

12.How dare anyone come to chennai : Infosys Chennai MCity comes under SEZ(special economic zone), swap and transfers from here are not possible.

13. No life after 9 PM.

14. No need to worry for Tsunami, because noone will be left to cry on your grave.

 

Bye Bye  (waiting for banglore, mohali, hyderabad update)

 

 

Life is not about cursing your posting location


But it is about how soon you leave the company

5 thoughts on “Few Forwards about Girls and Chennai”

  1. I dont think chennai is that bad. 😀 May be because I’m from South. But if you see the IT industry it has succeeded only in south (Highly Successful) like Chennai, Bangalore and Hyd

  2. Chennai is Not bad at all. It was just for some humor with few facts involved. And as I said, it is another forward…

    About IT, you are very right that it has blossomed more in south than in north and every Indian should be proud of that than being regional.

  3. Actually i’m from Mumbai.But working in chennai for the past 5 years. It’s a great city to live. Even though people here dont know hindi, they respect and welcome other state people especially north indians. Everyone calls other unknown persons as “SIR” respectfully. there are plenty of places to visit and now the Marina and Elliots beaches are so clean after efforts from chennai corporation. Its a safe place for women. AND who is that saying chennai sleeps at 9pm. COME AND WITNESS THE TRAFFIC IN THE OLD MAHABALIPURAM ROAD AT 11:30 PM. it is crowded like anything. chennai has got many flyovers at key points and that makes traffic less congested and it has sufficient public buses and trains across the city and Chennai metro will be ready by 2014. And chennai’s 2nd airport is also getting ready. IT PEOPLE ENJOYING THEIR LIFE FREE FROM CROWD AS ALL THE IT OFFICES ARE PUT IN THE OLD MAHABALIPURAM ROAD….CHENNAI IS ROCKING YAAR…VERY HAPPY TO WORK HERE…VANAKKAM , NANDRI CHENNAI. U CAN GET ALL TYPES OF FOOD EVERYWHERE EASILY AND IT IS THE CHEAPEST METRO COMPARED TO MUMBAI,DELHI,KOLKATA,BANGALORE AND HYDERABAD

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