Am back from vacations and here are few words of wisdom from my dear friends which I couldn’t resist from posting here –
A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best
Woman.
Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.
Moral : BE SPECIFIC
What is a BEST and WORST news you can hear at the SAME time ?
It is when your Girl Friend says “YOU are the BEST KISSER among all your
Friends.”
If you do NOT have a Girl Friend – You are missing SOME thing in
your life. If you HAVE a Girl Friend – You are missing EVERY thing in
your life.
When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you
from Darkness. Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness – Please
PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL.
APPRAISAL (Hindi)
Appraisal ke naam par ek lambi aah bharte hain,
chaliye ab hum is “dukhad” kahani ki shuruat karte hain,
hamehsa ki tarah 10 baje thumakte hue office aya,
11 baje tak nashta kiya aur barah baje tak mail hi padh paya,
hamesha ki tarah aaj bhi mujhe alas aa raha tha,
aur mera PM mujhe tirchi nigahon se dekh-dekh gussa raha tha,
main bade concentration ke sath ek “Careful” mail padh raha tha,
tabhi dekha mere PM ke naam ka new mail kone main blink kar raha tha,
is mail ki amad se itna ghabara raha tha,
ki CLTR + F4 ki jagah shift + F5 daba rah tha,
phir koi trainig attend karni hogi, ye kya bakwas hai,
kya reply main likh doon ki mere mailbox ka upwas hai ?
maine aankhen band ki aur 10 bar “om” “om” bola,
aur pranam karte hue maine wo mail khola,
PM ke is mail main ek ajeeb sa sukoon aur bholapan hai,
likha hai bhaiyon appraisal letters aa gaye,ab to one-to-one hai,
mujhe lag rah tha vb ke environment pe unix ka code likh diya ho kisi ne,
dil aise dhadak raha tha jaise baar baar dil pe double click kiya ho kisi ne,
man mein aise bure bure khayal aa rahe the,
upar se kuch log mere “de-appraisal” ki gandi affvah uda rahe the,
appraisal aise aya jaise India main Michael Jackson aya ho,
jaise Indian football team ne, Manchester United ko haraya ho,
PM ko letter late dekh har koi use dekhta jata hai,
jaise mallika ke kisi naye gane ko dekha jata hai,
akhir wo waqt aya,
PM ne ek ek kar sabko andar bulaya,
jo bhi ander jata hansta hua jata,
jo bahar ata , murjhaya hua ata,
jo bhi andar jata, sabko dekhte hue jata,
jaise hi bahar ata , sabse mooh chupata,
bahar aa kar insaan sambhal bhi nahi pata hai,
ki “kitna hua kitna mila” har koi uspe toot jata hai,
aisa lagta hai wo romm nahi “time machine” ho jo sabke andar leti ho,
aur “good time” se utha kar “bad time” main lakar chod deti ho,
kisi ko appraisal main 2000 rupaye mile the, main uski hansi uda raha tha,
tabhi maine dekha mera PM ishare se mujhe andar bula raha tha,
main confidence se utha aur age kadam badhaya,
tabhi meri belt ka buckle toot ke nikal aya,
meri halat to abhi se hi buri ho gayi,
sala izzat utarna to yahi se shuru ho gayi,
main andar pahuncha aur PM ne mujhe bithaya,
usne mera letter padha aur wo hansi rok na paya,
wo hansne laga aur hansta hi chala gaya,
use yaron hansi ka thaska aa gaya,
wo itna hansa ki usse aansu aa gaye,
mere appraisal digits use itne bha gaye,
jaise hi usne appraisal letter meri taraf badhaya,
meri aankhon ke age ghanghor andhera chaya,
mujhe laga jaise meri dil ki deewar ko kisi ne gobar se pota hai,
are yaar “bees rupaye” ? ye bhi koi increment hota hai ?
ye software industry hai akhada nahi hai,
ye “SALARY INCREMENT” hai , Dadar ane-jane ka bhada nahi hai,
mere charon taraf kali ghata chayi,
tabhi mere PM ki soothing awaz aayi,
tum soch rahe hoge ke company management ka dimag phir gaya hai,
par beta hum kya karen , dollar ka bhav 2 rupaye jo gir gaya hai ,
par phir bhi mujhe lagta hai, ye letter fake hai,
mujhe to lagta hai ye printing mistake hai,
tum HR mein jao,
aur ye confirm karke ao,
bhai HR main jane ke liye taiyyar hona padta hai,
wahi to aisi jagah hai jahan sunder ladkiyon se pala padta hai,
shitt!! jahan “Ronak” baith ti hai, aaj wahan baitha “Aftab” hai,
main samajh gaya beta, aaj apna badluck hi kharab hai,
usne mera letter khola,
aur khush ho ke bola,
wo bola sir aap ke liye khushkhabri hai,
aap ke letter ne “Printing mistake” pakdi hai,
maine kaha boss ab der na lagayen,
aur mujhe mera actual amount batayen,
sorry sir ye mistake just by accident hai,
bees rupaye nahi , do rupaye aap ka increment hai,
main kya karoon aap ko ye batate hue mera dil ro raha hai,
par kya karen dollar ka bhav bhi to kam ho raha hai,
main bas wahan khada tha ,kuch samajh nahi aa raha tha,
mujhse zyada increment to security wala pa raha tah,
maine khud ko sambhala, khud ko uthaya ,
main lauta aur seedhe PM ke pass aya,
main seedha uske cabin gaya aur darwaza khola,
is se pehle ki wo bole, main hi us se bola,
sir ye paise wapis le lijiye, baat karna fizool hai,
main gareeb hun, par bheekh nahi leta ye mera usool hai,doston ek ant main ek shayari –
“appraisal aisa laddu hai, jise khane ka har kisi ka khwab hota hai,
par ek bar koi ise kha le, to bada bhayankar julaab hota hai,”
Height of Optimism
?If you have failed in Love or don?t have that special someone.
Don?t worry its nothing but your future partner?s prayer!!!!?
HEADLINES DATED 1ST JAN 2023:
- President Sonia Gandhi and prime minister Priyanka Gandhi receive Italy prime minister Rahul Gandhi.
- Dhoom 17 ready for release.
- I will play next world cup – Sachin Tendulkar.
- Salman, Vivek and Abhishek attend Aishwarya’s 3rd marriage.
- Abhi toh Mein jawan hoon – Dev Anand.
- Petrol Rs.999 / litre (Bata price).
- Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi completed 2,50,000 episodes & Baa has completed 400yrs.
- Coach Ganguly resigns, as India is knocked out of World Cup in 1st round after losing to Korea.
- Siddhu launches his own TV channal where he can speak and laugh for the whole day.
- After giving 49 flop movie in a row himesh reshamiya is coming in hollywood romantic movie sequel titanic 3.